outta my head and onto the parchment

A collection of ideas, thoughts and worries whose origin is truthfully unknown. I often wonder if these are unique ideas conjured on their own or a collection of ideas pumped into a tiny human that are now the bedrock this life was built upon. Unstable, unreliable, fallacy but nevertheless the foundation of this human.  Ideas and ramblings that change hour by hour or have been solidified years ago and are unwavering. A glimpse inside, a peek at the man behind the curtain if you will. I have collected these notions over the years and whether or not they are mine alone, I do not know. They run around my psyche are the basis for decisions, the launching pad for intuition and at points are down right scary.  

Without a doubt I am usually pissing someone off, inspiring someone else and freeing yet another from between their own ears. All the fucks have been given and I am firmly myself at this point in life.  I am so good at this lie the even I buy it. Truth, I am working on it. In essence this is for no one but me. To hear the thoughts, and to give life to the ideas and hopes. So read on or print it out and use it to balance that wobbly table in the other room. It matters not to me. Again, a lie! I want you to love this and everything I do or say but it is safer to pretend that IDGAF.

These words are my take ON... ON life, ON pieces of life and ON all the facets that we are made of. ON being brave, and making choices, and the necessity of dancing while you cook and singing while you shower. ON the frustration of line waiting and people who have yet to riddle out how a stop sign works. ON CrossFit and ON Organizing and on people and things. If we have crossed paths chances are you are in here. I changed your name and exaggerated the interaction but there you are nonetheless. We will talk about life and death and kids and love and the necessity and absurdity of it all. We will get sidetracked and digress and we are gonna laugh. A lot. Laughter helps, it makes the pain slide off. 

Chances are none of these are my own ideas. I have yet to have an original thought as evidenced by Google’s search features. I have never asked it an original question. It is always there in the search drop down staring at me. Thus I am willing to admit that none of these thoughts are uniquely mine, but rather, I have created a collage of other peoples life lessons as we all do. Snipped and glued together the bits that I liked and allowed the rubbish to fall to the floor. Rosie the roomba will clean them up later. Taken what should be carried and discarded what was no longer useful. Like a true organizer, clearing clutter as I go and making room for the relevant. For that fact, the ideas and thoughts herein are fluid, are changing and are my own. Feel free to agree triumphantly or to rebel in discord, it matters not. I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings as much I as enjoyed purging them.  

We are gonna chat about saying NO. About the Need to Organize and to be preemptive. Prior preparation and all that mess. We are gonna uncover crazy ass childhood stories, and crappy adults, hilarious adventures and scary nights. I am going to convince you to be assertive and about owning your crazy. We are gonna look at the things that have made me the maniac I am today. Maniac yes, but also kind and compassionate and successful and strong. We can discuss I AM webs, and daily prompts, we can talk about gratitude journals and all the other shit that is gonna hone the beacon of your own crazy. We are gonna talk about eight year old me and how she was the MEest me I ever was and how to get back to her. We are gonna learn that it is not only okay but your birthright to stand firming in your own shoes and give not one single fuck about the responses of others. Some days I can do this. Some days I need validation more than H20.  We need to, we have to. Your favorite people are the ones that are real. Are the ones that tell you the ugly facts about motherhood or the fact that being a husband is exhausting at times. The best people we know are as consistent and predictable to themselves as possible and we all need to move closer to being who we are. Not some diluted craptastic version that society is shaping us all into, but ourselves, without question and without rounding the corners.  

If you are someone who thinks “you should just be nice, or that is not how I was raised, then like the wicked Witch of the west I encourage you to TURN BACK NOW, It is not gonna change much around here and you are not gonna like it. For the readers that are fist bumping each other and saying fuck yeah, how do I say NO. more often, opt out of shit I hate and be my own damn self without question, then read on my people, read on.  I will be here, learning along side you.